story: part 2 -long overdue

*please check out story: part 1 if you happened to miss it.

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for the next 1 1/2 years, God stretched us.

it was a time with it's share of struggles and tears.

you see, dell's employer had given him a notice  that he was to transfer

to Charlotte, NC in just 3 short weeks.  

our only option was to move away from

the only place we had ever known together. 

away from stability, comfort, familiarity, family, friends and small town life.

we briefly considered dell quitting, but with 4 children, ages 14, 4, 3, and 5 months,

we knew that really wasn't an option at all.

I keenly remember driving  home from an appointment and crying out to God.

He answered me.

He asked me if i trusted Him.

if i could just trust and follow right now.

at that same moment, i heard the words of this song on the radio.  

"I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

in that drive, God moving us into what i felt was like a desert,

became well with my soul.

dell went ahead of us to start working and find us a home and 

the kids and i followed a few weeks later.

 so began a year of our perceived,  "wandering in the desert wilderness."

dells hours increased to 80+ hrs a week.

i would fill our days with fun outings, eating out and shopping. lots of shopping.

i was so exhausted and stretched to the max.

i felt like a single parent and missed dell so much.

 i couldn't seem to find a church or community to get plugged into and dell wasn't there to help me anyways so it seemed pointless to find one he wouldn't like later on.

trendy was miserably homesick for our old town, church, school and friends.

 but just as a few short years ago God knew trendy would need us, 

i believe with all my heart, in that 1st, hard year in charlotte,

 God also knew that i would need trendy just as much as she had needed me. 

trendy was my only friend, my mother's helper, my movie buddy and late night pal.

she was my joy and her laugh was like medicine to me.(especially the snort at the end)

she loved all the kids and was so good with them. 

i still look back on those memories and smile and thank God for the gift of trendy lynn.

dell soon got tired and burnt out and took a job as general manager at chic-fil-a.

we were finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and got plugged in at our new church we had settled into.

about a year after living in charlotte, trendy began visiting with her dad a few times a month and in the spring of 2006, she chose to move out of our home and back to her 

original hometown. 

our hearts broke as our family dynamics changed again.

it seemed like every day the kids asked when "trinny" was coming home.

we missed her so much.

in 2007, dell and i began talking about adopting for the 1st time since we were dating. 

at that time, my heart was set completely on a baby less than 2 years old.

we looked into international adoption but then quickly decided we couldn't "afford" it.

 then we looked into fostering to adopt.

 at that time, i felt like there was no way i could let a child go after loving

and caring for them. 

we had a ton of conversations and they ended with,

"we'll talk about it again in a few years."

looking back, i see that we just  weren't ready.

we were still calling all the shots and telling God "who" we wanted and what

 and what we could not do.

in february 2008, God lovingly graced us by moving us again.

from Charlotte,NC to Three Lakes, WI.

to HoneyRock.

this time around, we were so excited for this new adventure.

there was only joy and expectancy.

we were so ready to change our lives.

to take a different pace.

to take a $40,000 pay cut.

what a change it would be... in every sense of the word.

we settled in quickly at camp and felt so thankful for the good gift God had given to us  by moving us here. we are still so thankful every day for how God has grown us and changed our family for the better by bringing us to the northwoods of WI.

in 2010, dell and i started talking about adopting again.

this time, we began talking with our kids and feeling the idea out with them.

we wanted any decision to be a family decision now that our children were older and we wanted it to be understood and supported by our kiddos. 

they were so on board and asked when we could go pick up their new siblings. :) 

if only it were as simple as that for all orphaned children to find good, safe and  forever families.

for several years i had been receiving emails from Rainbow Kids about waiting children from around the world and 

our hearts became broken for 2 boys in haiti.(david and mj)

 dell and i desperately wanted to pursue adopting them. 

 but once again, we were overcome with fear by the cost of the adoption.

having taken such a drastic lifestyle change and pay cut upon our move to WI, 

we truly believed there was absolutely no way we could ever afford to actually do it.

so we tabled the long discussed and weighed adoption topic yet again.

this time we thought for good because our $ situation wasn't likely to change in the foreseeable future. 

off and on for the next 2 years, haley and jackson kept pursuing us with questions about adopting. they wanted us to adopt so badly. and so did we!

dell and i would answer their questions when they had them the best we could,

 and every time they would ask, our hearts would stir towards adoption yet again.

but it just didn't seem possible for us at the time.

in the meantime, trendy had a baby girl and needed to come stay 

with us during the summer of 2012.

we loved baby genesis so much and all of the kids cared for her, 

played with her and toted her around.

when trendy moved back to NC in august, we all felt the loss of them leaving again, but it wasn't totally devastating. we had loved them well and then let them go.

as we talked through how we felt and how we were able to love trendy and genesis with all of our hearts while they were here,

and still be able to let them go,

we talked about foster care being kind of similar to that.

as we  talked in depth, openly and  honestly  with the kids and answering questions about what foster care could look like off and on for a few weeks,

 everyone seemed to really want to do it. we felt we were all on the same page

and so we started filling out paperwork.

around the time we were going to turn in our foster care paperwork and begin a home study with the state, dells mom needed to move in with us.

so we tabled foster care until she was settled back on her own.

we see so clearly now, how God used the time when dells mom lived with us,

as the time our kids needed to truly ponder and weigh the decision we were making as a family to foster.

 in january, haley and jackson came to dell and i and had an honest heart to heart.

haley shared that they both "really love the idea of foster care but really don't

feel comfortable with kids coming and going from our home while we are still so young and maybe you could do that when we're all older." immediately, jackson chimed in, "but we want to adopt! if we would've started 2 years ago to adopt david and mj, they would be home already." 

God spoke directly through our kids, to our hearts.

 and the tears flowed freely.

and with those tears, washed away all the fear of the financial considerations
we had been worried about all these years. we knew then and trusted that God would make a way.
we knew in that moment that this has been Gods plan all along.

we knew finally, this was about us trusting Him, obeying Him and it required us to take immediate action. 

so we would walk in faith, following God's lead. 

we would let Him show us how and where and who.

we would trust without borders and without stipulations.

we would adopt.

will you please remember our family and our kids who aren't home yet in your prayers?

we simply can't wait to have them home but we still have a ways to go.

our home study is almost complete and then we wait.

we're praying for a quick "wait," if there is such a thing. :)

will you join us in praying for our kids' health, safety and comfort as they wait for us?

thank you friends, for joining us on our journey to the 2 sweet souls across the ocean who are waiting for us.